If I were God writing this, what would I have to say for myself? First off, you wouldn’t hear me telling you it was God writing this. I learned that lesson long ago. My servants the prophets, as they liked to call themselves, were forever telegraphing their punches. They would launch into one of their diatribes by announcing, “Thus saith the Lord.” As if that would make a difference. They were an ornery bunch, my servants the prophets, and the name-dropping didn’t help. If they were lucky, they might make it out of town before the stones started flying.
No, if I were God writing this, I would definitely go incognito. I wouldn’t even tell my scribes, whose minds and fingers were commandeered for this purpose. Let them believe they thought it all up themselves. That way there wouldn’t be a lot of grandstanding to detract from my message. But then again, if they were allowed to believe they thought it all up themselves, they might get other ideas. The prophets, at least, could usually be counted on not to tamper with the message.
I suppose I have only myself to blame. Some might think it was a mistake to make humankind in my own image. Certainly there is a price to be paid. You go looking for a reliable mouthpiece, and they insist on thinking for themselves. Perhaps a bit of reverse psychology would do the trick. As long as I’m working incognito, why stop at half measures? It’s not enough that my scribes should be left in the dark. I’d still know who was speaking for whom, and that might introduce an artificial note to the proceedings. If I am going to speak for myself through someone else, even I can’t know who is writing this. There's really no way around it: I need to disappear entirely into the role.